Upping the personal ante

For at least the past half dozen years or so, my one and only New Year's resolution was to not make any New Year's resolutions.

Prior to that, I did make them. Religiously. And they were always the same, year in and year out, because every year, without fail, I broke each and every one of them.

Lose weight; be more organized; procrastinate less; work out more; be ON TIME; quit smoking, etc, etc, etc.

But this year, I guess I just feel the need to have some goals for myself. I feel as though I'm at a point where my life needs an overhaul. Or at least a tune-up.

Granted, I am not completely goal-less. I have things I'm striving for. So it would be redundant to repeat them as resolutions.

So, instead, I've opted to make just one resolution and be sure to stick with it. To accomplish it. And not feel that resignation and sense of failure we all feel when in March, we realize most if not all of our New Year's resolutions have fallen by the wayside.

My single and simple resolution for 2006 is this: Do More.

More of what? At this point, I'm not completely sure. But it hit me one day that the lethargy I've been feeling as of late is due to more than just stress and overwork. I think its that I've used the stress and bad job situation and long hours as an excuse to become undisciplined.

I've stopped pushing myself, allowing myself to wallow in stillness as compensation for those things that negatively impact my life and over which, I have no control.

Like a well-meaning mother trying to cure her child's bad day at school or being called names on the playground with a cookie or a trip to the ice cream shop, I've tried to heal my stresses and upsets and dissatisfactions by allowing myself to not do anything, if it truly didn't have to be done. All the while saying I was tired, burnt out from work, etc., so I deserved the down time.

Thing is, too much down time is not a good thing. One gets lazy. One starts preferring nights in with DVDs to actually going out and doing things with others. One ends up watching way too much TV. Things don't get done when they should or maybe as much as they should.

Lately, I've found myself in awe of some individuals I've either met or read about who seem to do soooo much on a regular daily basis, and have accomplished so much for the stage of their lives at which they're at.

I'm tired of admiring. I want to be one of them.

So starting now, its out of the comfort zone for this girl; and back out into the world of doing, and self-imposed activity and more social outings, and yes, chores. No more dishes in the sink or ridiculous laundry pile-ups.

Moss doesn't grow on a rolling stone, and I realize its high time I get myself back in the game. On all levels.

My goal is that in 2006 I spend less time on my couch and more time going out, having fun, working out, reading, writing and accomplishing. In summary, DOING.

I'm starting by making myself do at least one thing each day that I normally wouldn't have made the time for -- whether it be something as simple as cleaning out a closet, or baking brownies or writing, or calling friends.

And I'm hoping that come March, instead of being by the wayside, my resolution will still be very much a part of my daily life.

And then maybe, I'll be able to work on all those other long-forgotten ones -- like being on time, and losing weight and procrastinating less. (yeah, right)