Exactly 8 days ago today, I walked out of my office for the last time, and it was the weirdest departure I've ever made from a job.
Those who know me well, know that I basically have hated this job from Day One. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't become a part of you, and that you don't care about the job you do, while you're doing it.
I'm one of those pathetic saps. I may hate the job, hate the higher ups, maybe even hate my officemates. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna be unprofessional. So I throw myself into the tasks at hand until their completed to my satisfaction, compartmentalizing all my other feelings of hatred, misery, contempt, et al.
And now, the new chapter.
I have two weeks off before I start the new position. A much needed break, and, I'm embarrassed to admit, I spent most of this week doing nothing. But while part of me feels guilty, another part of me is convinced I had been so stressed out the past few months, that once I left the job for good, my body heaved a huge sigh of relief, letting go of all the tension and strain that had kept me wound tight as a drum and therefore anxious and antsy and full of nervous energy most of the time. Without that, I can now mentally and physically relax.
So, today, I finally got my butt in gear to go buy some very large plastic storage containers so I can begin packing those things I don't really need. That way, when I sell the house and find a new apartment, I'll have a lot less to pack and the final move will go more smoothly.
The only thing, I hate packing and unpacking, most likely because I'm a horrible packrat and tend to accumulate a lot of stuff.
As I started pulling things from closets, picking out what to toss, what to keep, what to give away, I just could not focus my attention or energy at the task at hand.
It was just a little over a year ago that I moved into this house. And after that process, I swore I'd never move again. (Little did I know, huh?)
So now, faced with the task again, its even more overwhelming. Probably because I now have even more stuff.
I am amazed at what I have amassed over the year! What's even worse, as my hand moves to toss something into the throw away, or the give away pile, another part of me pulls back, and thinks perhaps I should hold onto it. Sheesh. Talk about counterproductive.
So I pack a bag, or get rid of some stuff, then make a phone call; then fill one box, and blog, and on and on.
In a little while I have to meet some friends for dinner. I was thinking I should cancel because I got such a late start today, but have decided since its seldom we get to see each other these days, I should keep the date. So I am. Maybe after dinner, I'll come home and my night owl tendencies will kick in and I'll work at packing more stuff for at least a couple of hours.
If not, my disciplinarian self is going to have make an appearance, forcing me out of bed early tomorrow so I can get some stuff done!
Only one more week of vacation to go, and then I'll be busy learning a new area, a new job, and trying to sell a house.
No rest for the weary I guess.
A collection of random, reflective, fleeting, probing, serious, silly, self-deprecating, venting, thoughts, issues and events that for some reason or other I feel the need to give voice to.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
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