I Hate Dating

I remember a simpler time. When dating was easy and fun, and I can't for the life of me figure out exactly when, or how, it all went south.

In my 20s, it was easy. There were single, interesting people everywhere my friends and I went and chances were always pretty good that you would meet someone cute and interesting, if you were looking.

These days, it seems to be a world of couples or those that are single, are in their 20s.

And when I do get attention from the male of the species, it always seems to be from a leering old man, someone with a wedding ring, or someone in whom I have no interest whatsoever.

Over the past couple years, I've even tried the online sites off and on. About two years ago, I did meet someone who I ended up dating for about 6 months. But since then, all I've had are plenty of first dates, but none of them good.

Okay, not none. There was a good one, about 6 weeks ago.

He was cute, professional, polite and courteous and interesting and I liked everything about him. He was even a good kisser. And more importantly, he seemed to like me too.

We shared light, breezy, flirty emails; interesting, hour-long, phone calls. But duty called for me -- I had several consecutive business trips that kept me from seeing him again for 3 weeks straight, and he had a vacation planned during one of those weeks, so we just couldn't seem to get together after that great first date -- where we had sat in a cafe for four hours sharing wine, food and interesting conversation.

I got back in town the day before he went on vacation and he had left an email saying he'd get in touch when he got back. I counted the days.

He called me the day he got back home. I was psyched! Said we should get together. I agreed. But we didn't pick a night or make any concrete plans.

And then, a couple of days later, I get the email saying that he's decided to start seeing someone else exclusively. (The pitfalls of the online dating jungle where everyone tries to meet as many people as possible, not dating exclusively, until they feel they've met their match.)

Oh, but he still wanted to be friends. Of course, that was 2 months ago and I've not heard a peep from him since. Probably better that way to be sure, but damn, it was a kick in the gut.

So now, I'm back to emailing strangers from a pool of profiles I'm told by a computer system meet my criteria of what I want in a mate, and going through another round of what seems like an endless stream of bad first dates.

Six weeks after FIRST GOOD DATE IN A VERY LONG TIME, and I've emailed with, talked to, and met several guys. Not bad guys to be sure. Just not for me. And they pretty much felt the same way about me.

I'm tempted to drop out completely, give up on dating, and just let fate have her way with me and my dating future, but I guess the old saying is true -- hope springs eternal. Even after countless letdowns and disappointments.

But dang, sometimes it is very hard to stay positive. I guess that's why I've focused on that one good date I had six weeks ago. It keeps me going, because I know that at some point (and the law of averages is on my side here) that there will be another one. And that eventually, I will meet someone and possibly, maybe, one of these nights, I will go out on my last first date.