A burden Lifted

One deadline project finished -- 2 days early to boot and another halfway done and at least a couple more days still left to finish it and I finally feel as though I can relax.

I am a total enigma. I totally stress out when things get down to the wire, but also, I work best under pressure. Nothing like a looming deadline to fortify my focus and concentration. I could tune out a heavy metal rock concert taking place in the parking lot, if I really truly need to get something done immediately.

So, more often than not, I put things off until the last possible minute and then roll up my sleeves, curse my procrastination, and dig in.

Until the day I finish, I wake up each morning, worrying about the day ahead and whether or not I'll get all my shit done.

I always do, (get my shit done) and even as I worry, I know I will get it done because I have to, I have no choice, but still. Until the day its completed, fear and anxiety hover over me constantly.

Upon waking each morning, I am momentarily paralyzed with fear, staring at the numbers on my alarm clock and berating myself for being such a procrastinator and considering the possibility of "what if I don't get it done on time this time?"

But then, sensibility and a sense of necessity, spurs me on and out of bed, and I begin my workday with a renewed sense of purpose, diverting the crux of my time and energies that day to getting things done.

And today, I finished. Early. And all is right with the world again. I've even allowed a friend to convince me to take a few hours off this afternoon to go play golf.

As I hung up the phone, the angel on my shoulder is saying I should stay disciplined, call her back and cancel and immediately start in on the other deadline project. Why put myself through all the stress that comes with procrastination and looming deadlines when I can so easily avoid it?

The procrastinating devil on my other shoulder says not to worry, I have plenty of time and can come in early or work late tomorrow if I need to, to get the other project done. And besides, in the end, I always do come through and get things done right and on time, despite the stress and fear and berating.

So, who won?

My tee time is in 35 minutes!!