And the sign says....

I'm a big believer in signs. Now granted, I don't believe that every single thing that happens or doesn't happen is necessarily a sign from above, but sometimes you just can't ignore them.

Case in point -- I HATE my job. Really hate it and all signs for the past year have pointed me in the direction of looking for employment elsewhere. Which I have been doing, albeit not having much luck.

So, for the time being, I simply go in every day, do my job to the best of my ability (because even though I'm miserable and burnt out, I still believe in being professional), and spend my spare time reading want ads and job postings on line.

The resume has already been dusted off and is ready to go, so -- I'm good.

But over the past two weeks, it seems as though I've been bombarded by 'signs' telling me to leave as soon as possible.

It started with an article I was reading in a business weekly. A woman in a very small, rural town had started an internet/computer company and was doing extremely well; so well, that she pays her employees wages that would be competitive in, say, a medium size city because she believes people should be paid their fair market value and not according to their geographic location.

Talk about progressive.

Of course, she couldn't always afford to do that -- esp. when she first set up shop. Tired of the grind and being underappreciated in the workplace, she opted out of the daily 9 to 5 and started her own company. Put in long hours and a few years of very hard work and eventually got to where she is today.

Nice story, but really what's the point? Well, for me, it was one statement that she said that has stuck with me moreso than anything else over the past couple of weeks.

She said, if you're really unhappy with your job, don't just sit around complaining about it or even looking for a new one, get out there and create your own.

That statement and idea has stuck with me since reading it and I swear I hear it in my head at least a half dozen times a day.

Not too long after reading that, I heard an interview on the news. Can't remember who it was, or even whether the businessperson was local or national. But he said something that has stuck with me as well -- "the best, never rest."

Then, yet again, one night while drifting off on the couch, I awoke with three words in my head -- "The time is now". Not sure if it was something I had subconciously heard on the television, or something in a dream.

So, three statements, two different people and one unknown source -- and I can't get them out of my head. While I realize that a part of me truly does love the daily grind (can't believe I said that, but its true), I don't think I'll ever be happy until I'm truly my own boss, nor will I be happy unless I am making a good financial living as well.

(True, one can be poor and happy, but I'd rather be very financially secure and happy:)

On a similar line, I've been feeling the urge to write; really write and work on some story ideas I've been tossing around in my head for years now. I have a feeling that if I really, really applied myself, I could be a successful writer. My problem -- not enough energy or discipline to make it happen.

My ultimate goal has always been to make a living writing books. But for the past 15 years, I'd gotten so caught up in making a living, that I ended up building a career in a field I do like, but at the same time, ignoring something I love because the brunt of my time and energy and focus and discipline was spent on doing the corporate gig.

Granted, I still have to do that. Bills to pay, a mouth to feed, and honestly, I couldn't give up the stability of a set salary and things like medical benefits.

BUT, I realize it has come time to seize the day and force myself to spend more time on creating my own job and really working toward that goal, even if at times, it leaves me exhausted.

Otherwise, I'll end up continuing the rat race cycle. And I'll have refused to follow the signs I've been given and put so much faith in.

So, even though I've said to myself before that I would write more -- I am now committed. I will write daily -- trying to get those ideas formed into more complex plot lines and characters. I'm also planning on taking a week off in the next month or so and using it to treat my writing as a full-time job, for at least that week.

Not much, but its a start. And so much better than just spinning my wheels being good at something in a place where I am truly not happy.