Its not often I let superstition rule my life.
I've chuckled when black cats have run across my path, can remember walking under at least a couple of ladders, and refuse to forward those chain emails that everyone complains about, but still forwards to everyone they know for fear something horrible will happen if they don't. And of course, once they do, something extremely wonderful will happen to them in the next 7 minutes. NOT
But sometimes, I do heed those little voices we all hear every once in awhile. I bless myself when driving past a church, I occasionally throw salt over my shoulder when I spill quite a lot of it, and lately, I've begun to pay more attention to that little inner voice that says, "Don't do" this, or "you should do" that.
As I write this, I should be driving myself back from a meeting in a city 3 hours away. I had been preparing myself all week long for the trip because it would meet waking at 4:30 a.m., leaving the house by 6 a.m., driving 3 hours, attending a business meeting; and then getting back in the car and driving back another 3 hours. All of it on busy interstates, no less.
But on Monday morning, when the alarm clock went off, the first thought that entered my head was, "I don't want to go on Wednesday".
I chalked it up to dreading the early wake up and long day and boring meeting.
Monday nite, as I settled in, I again thought, "I don't want to drive out there on Wednesday"
Again, I chided myself for being silly and maybe even lazy and steeled myself with professional responsibility. I had to go because I told my colleague I would. I told myself this feeling of not wanting to go was simply because I was buried in work at my own office and had so much to do, and was worried that another day spent on the road would set me back even further.
And then, yesterday morning again. As soon as the alarm clock buzzed me awake, my first thought was, "I really don't want to go to the city tomorrow."
So I bagged it. Yesterday afternoon I called T, my colleague and said I wasn't going to be able to make it. Just too much to do. Thankfully, she was fine with it. Understood my impending deadlines, and besides, another colleague was going to be there with her, so really, it wasn't integral that I be there. Whew.
And all I can say, is afterward, I felt no guilt and a whole lotta relief.
Not sure exactly why I had that nagging, 'don't go' feeling. But it felt so right following it.
Last nite, I told my friend L about it and she agreed. And we both recounted instances where we ignored that little inner voice and the situation turned out badly.
Maybe its and age/wisdome thing, maybe it was simple superstition. Regardless, I'm glad I followed it.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Friday, October 07, 2005
Stranger than Fiction
There's a line in Bridget Jones' Diary where Bridget poses the hypothetical question, "have you ever looked up a guy's phone number and dialed it, just to make sure he exists?"
The point being, that, if he hasn't called you yet, well after the time he said he would, something horrible must have happened to him, right? Otherwise, you most certainly would have heard from him by now. The only way to find out for certain, is to do the passive aggressive hang-up call.
This is often the ploy of teenage or college-aged females. However, as we get older and wiser and let our pride get in the way of doing that (some of us, anyway) there is still always a part of us that wants to. Of course, Caller ID is putting quite the crimp in this long-used female tactic.
Whenever a potential interest comes onto the scene, even the most stoic, independent and toughest of us become that insecure 16-year old, glancing at the phone every few minutes or, in this age of internet dating, checking our email. And when they don't call or write, we try to figure out a way to check up on them, without their knowing of course.
This girl included.
No matter how much we might profess not to need a man, the point is, most of us do want one. And when there is the possiblity of us satisfying that want, we get a little crazy.
Recently, I've done the fade with two potential internet dates because in our conversations or on our dates, or lack thereof, I've simply lost interest -- as have they. For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing the opposite -- instead of racing to the cell or answering machine or inbox to see if they've called or emailed, I check it with one eye open -- hoping there is nothing there and breathing a sigh of relief when there isn't.
But that may be changing. This week, I struck up an unlikely email conversation with someone not from a dating site. And altho I have no idea whether or not I'll ever even actually meet this person, as we didn't connect for the purpose of dating, I find myself checking my email more than I normally do and wanting to find new messages from him in my inbox.
Strange, I know. And every time I check my email specifically to see if he's answered mine yet, I get more perturbed at myself. But I can't help it. Inside every woman there's a girl, who thrives on the attention of boys, even if it isn't going to amount to anything -- because there's always the hope that one day, it will.
The point being, that, if he hasn't called you yet, well after the time he said he would, something horrible must have happened to him, right? Otherwise, you most certainly would have heard from him by now. The only way to find out for certain, is to do the passive aggressive hang-up call.
This is often the ploy of teenage or college-aged females. However, as we get older and wiser and let our pride get in the way of doing that (some of us, anyway) there is still always a part of us that wants to. Of course, Caller ID is putting quite the crimp in this long-used female tactic.
Whenever a potential interest comes onto the scene, even the most stoic, independent and toughest of us become that insecure 16-year old, glancing at the phone every few minutes or, in this age of internet dating, checking our email. And when they don't call or write, we try to figure out a way to check up on them, without their knowing of course.
This girl included.
No matter how much we might profess not to need a man, the point is, most of us do want one. And when there is the possiblity of us satisfying that want, we get a little crazy.
Recently, I've done the fade with two potential internet dates because in our conversations or on our dates, or lack thereof, I've simply lost interest -- as have they. For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing the opposite -- instead of racing to the cell or answering machine or inbox to see if they've called or emailed, I check it with one eye open -- hoping there is nothing there and breathing a sigh of relief when there isn't.
But that may be changing. This week, I struck up an unlikely email conversation with someone not from a dating site. And altho I have no idea whether or not I'll ever even actually meet this person, as we didn't connect for the purpose of dating, I find myself checking my email more than I normally do and wanting to find new messages from him in my inbox.
Strange, I know. And every time I check my email specifically to see if he's answered mine yet, I get more perturbed at myself. But I can't help it. Inside every woman there's a girl, who thrives on the attention of boys, even if it isn't going to amount to anything -- because there's always the hope that one day, it will.
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