Looking at the calendar today, I'm finding it hard to believe that September is almost over.
Maybe its because I love this time of year -- crisp, clear mornings, chilly, blanket-hugging nights, the required wardrobe changeover -- that I dread the passing of each day because I know it means it'll all soon (too soon) come to an end.
Fall has always been a time of renewal for me. Moreso than New Years and its peer pressure-induced New Year's resolutions.
I find myself wanting to be more active once the heat of summer has receded. I eat healthier because its a time of year when I actually like to cook, preferring to have the house gradually warm up after I get home from work from my bustling about the kitchen and the stove going full force with pots on top and something baking within. I spend more time outdoors oohing and aahing at the changing leaves and I find myself walking more. For some reason, I just feel better.
And I even look forward to those first cold nites or really chilly and crisp mornings that require turning on the heat. Hearing the furnace cranking after its long summer rest, and feeling the rush of warm air coming through the vents, is, in some bizarre way, comforting.
All this usually means I'm at my most productive and feeling my best, both in body and mind. I find myself organizing things more and purging my house and office and storage areas of things I no longer want or need. I think perhaps that "back to school" mode is something I never really outgrew.
And fall has always been a season of change for me. I tend to make my resolutions now, rather than in January. I almost always renew a long-expired gym membership or join another fitness club or group this time of year. Going back over my resume, I've started most new jobs in October (no reason why), and its when I tend to reinvent myself -- trying a totally different hairstyle or color, or completely revamping my wardrobe.
This fall is no different. My cooking inclinations are in full drive -- I've cooked more this past week than I have over the past 2 months combined. I've vowed to quit junk food cold turkey and had salad for lunch 4 times this week. I have 3 garbage bags full of clothes that I've determined are no longer 'me' and am taking them to Goodwill. I'm growing my hair.
AND, as has happened several times over the past 12 years or so -- I'm taking my life in a whole new direction. Not a new job. I did that in the spring. But in a few short weeks, I'll be leaving this house I've called home for the past 2 years, a house it still kind of hurts to give up, to move closer to where I now work.
The 75-minute, one-way commute has been exhausting, and besides that, the job required that I move when I took it.
In only 3 weeks, I will close on the sale of my house, and move to a new town, and a new house. I'm excited and nervous, and okay, maybe a little scared. But something in my gut tells me this new place is where I need to be. That good things are going to happen there.
So, as I slowly start cleaning out closets and cupboards and pack up the things I'll be taking with me, I do so in a bittersweet, yet anticipatory way.
The only thing I can compare it to is when I left home to go to college -- scared and anxious, yet chomping at the bit, at the same time.
That worked out very well -- I LOVED my college years -- and so now, with that experience behind me, I'm going with my gut and diving in to this new life adventure. And I truly can't wait to see what the future holds!
