Feelin' the Music

It has always happened for me in the car alone, or in the shower. Being completely overtaken by a song or CD.

I have no doubt that music is, in a way, a form of salvation for us mortals, taking us momentarily out of the present and transporting us to a different place, even if only for 2.16 minutes.

As a teen, I can remember sitting on my friend Lisa's front porch, in rolled up denim shorts and halter tops, cranking out songs by David Cassidy and Andy Gibb and other early 80s heartthrobs. Sometimes we talked, or read magazines, sometimes we just watched the traffic go by; but regardless of what we were doing, we were totally in that particular moment.

I can also remember carting my "boom box" into the bathroom each morning or nite, so that I could jam out to a favorite cassette while taking a shower. For that 20 minutes, it was just me and the music and looking back, it kind of helped ease me into my day or make me forget about whatever teen angst was eating at me. It also allowed me the freedom to sing, something I never do in public, because truth is, I couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle.

These days, I don't often let myself get that completely absorbed anymore. Showertime is a time for me to think about all I have to do once I get into the office. The drive to work, while the music is on, I'm still thinking about my "To Do" list, whether it be for work, or what I have to do once I get home; or mulling over a recent conversation, project, etc.

But last nite, driving home in a pouring rain, a local radio station took a break from the holiday music and had an hour of Retro 80s hits.

For those who know me best, they know I am a total 80s child. And I can't walk by a bargain CD bin at a department or record or drugstore without pawing through it to see if it holds some long lost favorite song or artist from my most fun decade.

As the beginning strains of "Melt With You" started playing, I instinctively turned up the volume and suddenly, it wasn't Christmas nite, 2005 anymore. I was recalling nights out from 15 years ago, dancing with friends, and somewhere mid-way into the song, I wasn't thinking about anything anymore. I was totally into the music, singing along and letting it take over me.

When the song ended, I recalled that it had been a long time indeed since I'd been so completely absorbed by a song or music; to a point where my mind stopped churning, and I wasn't multi-tasking. True, I was driving, but other than simply watching the road, there wasn't a single other thought on my mind than the strains of that song.

The announcer broke in and I tuned him right out, instead remembering V, a co-worker from my first post-college job, who I absolutely loved. I think it was him who made me realize the importance of music and its emotional and physiological qualities.

V was a graphic artist who went nowhere without his walkman and many, many tapes. He listened to all kinds of music from punk to heavy metal to the Beatles. Walk into his office at any time, and you'd find his eyes fixed on his computer screen and one hand on his mouse, creating graphics or logos.

But the rest of his body was completley overtaken by whatever was coming out of his earphones. While he worked, his feet were tapping, his head was bobbing and his upper body grooving. He LOVED music and he enjoyed it to the hilt every single day.

Other than at nightclubs or concerts, I had never seen anyone so totally absorbed by a tape or a song or the radio, myself included. But after witnessing his sheer and pure enjoyment, it made me think I was missing out on something. And so, I started listening to other types of music and trying to get into music as much as V did. I even bought a new walkman and started taking it to the gym and on solo walks around the local lake.

I guess it kind of worked, because these days, there are certain songs or CDs, I often long to hear; and when I pop in the CD or hear the song on the radio, I stop thinking about everything and simply listen. And let the beat and the rhythms and the words take me out of my senses for that brief time.

I've found its a great stress-reliever and way to relax.

Last nite, after my musical ride home, I didn't turn on the TV or sit at the computer once I got in. I popped in a few favorite CDs, poured a glass of cabernet, sat back and just listened. Allowing myself the freedom to do nothing and giving the music total control. It had been awhile, and was just the break I needed from my recent work stress and the holiday craziness.

I promised myself that I'll be doing it more often.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Well, the big day is here and more than half gone, and right now, today feels like any other Sunday.

Last nite was our family's big celebration with gift exchange, and it was truly a beautiful nite. I even got a token drunken compliment from my brother's neighbor, who told me, in a somewhat slurred voice, that I was a beautiful woman and one of the finest specimens he has ever seen.

I kid you not. Not sure if I can live up to that compliment, (or believe it either) but hey, beggars can't be choosers, so I'm keepin' it! lol

And my hunch was right. Everyone did really love their gifts. Esp. my littlest niece who, after crazily ripping open bags and boxes, knelt in the center of her piles of things and declared, "Ohhh, thank you so much everybody! I love it all! I really, really do!"

And even if no one else had liked their gifts, seeing the sheer joy and excitement on her face would have more than made up for it.

Afterwards, we all went home -- stuffed bloated messes, bemoaning our lack of self control and over-indulgence, but warm and full and happy and most importantly, grateful for the gift of family and plenty and togetherness that sadly, not everyone gets to enjoy.

Today, I woke up a bit earlier than usual, and so was able to actually read all the newspaper and have breakfast made, eaten and washed up after, bed made and some minor household tasks done, all by noon.

Now, its time to get dressed and go to the parents for dinner. Tomorrow, I take my nieces to a matinee production of the Nutcracker, that is preceded by our traditional Chinese lunch. About six years ago, when I first started taking my oldest niece, I asked her what she wanted for lunch, expecting her to say McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese. She said chicken and broccoli, and so we went to the local Chinese place.

The following year, when we were leaving her house, she said, "So, we're going for chinese, right?" And a tradition was born.

So for the past six years, on the day after Christmas, I pick them up, we go for Chinese, and then go wait in line so that we can get really good seats for the ballet. Which to my nieces means nothing further back than the 5th row!

When I drop them off early tomorrow evening, and say goodbye and they tell me how much fun they had before running off to the kitchen to heat up their Chinese leftovers, the holiday will truly be over. And I 'll be both relieved and anxious -- waiting to do it all again next year.

Sure, its alot of preparation and expense and extra work, getting ready for this one particular day or two, but the payoff, while it can at times seem fleeting, really does stick with everyone and I realize, when I look back at all the Christmases past, how much the tradition and everything associated with it, really does all mean.

Getting Excited!

Wow! Can't believe its been a whole month since I blogged. But actually, the past month has been so crazy busy and hectic and stressful, its been a month since I've done much of anything productive other than work and stress, and oh, yeah, that annual task of Christmas shopping.

With the big day just 2 days away, I am thrilled to report that I am DONE! Finished last nite with the Fed Ex delivery of my bro and sis-in-law's gift -- they're gonna scream when they see it(or at least I hope!) -- and a quick trip to the mall to get the last 2 people on my list.

And I am so excited about this year's gift exchange.

Last year, I had just moved into my house two weeks before Christmas and had so much to do and was so broke after all the closing, insurance, and other house-buying costs, that I hated the gifts I gave. Partly because I bought them in a rush, and partly because I pretty much got everybody just one gift and that was it.

Normally, I like to give several -- one main gift, with a few small ones tucked in as well -- cute and practical and kitchy little things. Special ornaments or a coffee mug filled with packets of specialty teas and coffees or a CD -- you get the picture.

But last year, that was out of the question both timewise, and money-wise. So this year, the Christmas Me is back and very much looking forward to giving out my gifts. And I think everyone will really like what I did get. I put alot of thought into each and every one.

Last year, I know some folks were disappointed, esp. Dad and one of my friends and I think my godmother. They didn't say so of course, but you can always tell when you know someone well.

So, come Saturday, after Christmas Eve dinner when we do our exchange, I'm gonna be loving every minute of it!

And, having a four-day weekend is also nice. Today, I'm not working and will be spending most of it attacking my house with a vengeance. It WILL be clean.

Like my blogging, it too has suffered as I haven't really given it a good scrubbing and going over in about as long as its been since I blogged. Oh sure, I wiped and dusted a bit here and there, where needed; and even vacuumed and did laundry a couple times. But it is sorely in need of major cleaning -- wiping down appliances and polishing furniture and hardwood floors and mopping and dusting baseboards. That type of cleaning.

So, I'm off. Hoping to get done by 4 so that I can then kick back and watch Oprah. Then, its a nice dinner. Right now I'm torn between actually cooking something healthy and wholesome, or ordering sushi. Guess it will all depend on my mood when I'm done and if I feel like hitting the grocery store.

Tonite, I'm not going out on purpose. Gonna stay in, and get comfy with either a good DVD or book. And tomorrow, its gift-wrapping and giving (and getting) day!


HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!